(no subject)

[lastgunslinger]

He'd found an interesting-looking book in the Library -- More Tales From The Corner, But Only If I Don't Find A Better Title, by a man with the interesting name of F.X. Toole.

So now Roland is sitting in his chair by the fountain in the Garden, reading, with the grey kitten batting at the roses floating on the surface of the water.

Morning-glories bloom around the bottom of the fountain.

Comments

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Joe nods. "Blame you, mostly."

[lastgunslinger]

"Why?"

Roland leans against a nearby rock.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"Well, I'm dead." This seems to make sense to Joe. "What's goin' on?"

[lastgunslinger]

A slight shrug. "Couple of things. Wasn't Bound for a while. Found out I was Bound again when I told River -- she's a young gunslinger, born to it, but not sane, so she can't be trained -- found out when I told her I wouldn't always be in Milliways. Cuthbert picked a good time to tell me he planned to ask Susan for her hand. And Moiraine tells me she accepted. Cuthbert asked me how I felt about it dan-dinh, and then got angry when I couldn't give him the answer he wanted. So. I got out."

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"You do keep busy." Joe fishes out his cigars. "So you got unbound, but you didn't leave. Regrettin' it?"

[lastgunslinger]

Roland shakes his head. "Unfinished business. In River's world they try to turn children into what Ted Brautigan is and what I am both, by cutting into their brains. We're taking the place down." Calm. "Couldn't spend months orchestrating that and cry off at this point."

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

A match flares. "So you made a choice, and the bar took you at your word, and you're kicking up at it. That's the first part."

"Cuthbert and Susan are gettin' married, huh?"

[lastgunslinger]

Roland nods, arms folded.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"And it pisses you off." Joe draws smoke and exhales it, hot and fragrant in the cool mountain air. "How come?"

[lastgunslinger]

Silence.

"He punched me once. Told me I was being an idiot over her. Not that he is now. Love's a trap, is all. And then he chose to tell me dan-dinh -- to ask me to make his decision for him, when there wasn't any decision to be made. You don't ask your friend to make your decisions for you, and you don't ask your dinh to tell you how he feels. Not for something like this." A half-shrug. "And you know the tale behind it all. Some of that left, too, a little. It's selfish." His words are offhand.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"It damn well is selfish," Joe agrees. "They're dead, you know." He says this slowly and deliberately. "Dead. You got a life, and they don't. You're Bound for now. They're done and gone. And both of 'em died for you."

[lastgunslinger]

Roland stiffens. He's pale.

"He didn't."

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Joe's stare is as level as his voice. "Maybe not. Depends on how you look at it, I reckon. But he's another body you left behind on your road, one way or another."

"What harm does it do you, if they find a little happiness? You're movin' forward--goin' about your business even while you're stuck in that Bar. You got so used to bein' the only survivor that it pisses you off if other people move forward, too?"

[lastgunslinger]

"It's -- " Roland thinks. "It's like Angel Eyes marrying Mina now that you can't. Cuthbert's no Angel Eyes, but that makes it worse. He's waving what I can't have right in front of me and expecting me to act a certain way about it. Didn't even think it through."

[blue_ajah]

The name means nothing to her, but dark eyes narrow slightly at this.

"I am not certain I would agree with that assessment."

Calmly interjected, from her seat on the rock where she has been silently observing.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"You don't know a goddam thing," Joe says, his voice thick and bitter. "You still want to marry Susan? Or you just think that since you fucked her once in the long ago she's yours forever?"

"You'd rather keep her around as an old memory than have her there as a person and that's the gospel truth."

His face is flushed, and his blue eyes are darker than normal. He tips his hat to Moiraine. "Beggin' your pardon."

[lastgunslinger]

Paler still, except for two spots of color high on his cheeks.

"It's not about me and Susan. It's about me and Cuthbert. You think I don't believe she deserves whatever happiness she can find? You think I didn't have an idea this was coming? You do, and that's bullshit."

Roland doesn't apologize to Moiraine.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"Then it ain't a hell of a lot like anything to do with Mina, now is it?" Joe says darkly. "If you don't want her, then what exactly is he parading in front of you?"

[lastgunslinger]

"What I couldn't have had, and can't."

Roland's eyes glitter.

"Just like you."

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Joe's face is completely deadpan, but his voice is harsh. "You chose, you bastard, every time. Chose your damned Tower, and chose to stay in the bar. So why don't you stop comparin' your self-pityin' ass to my fucked-up life, which is over now?"

"I don't have to be here. This isn't who I am anymore." He throws the stub of his cigar over the cliff.

[lastgunslinger]

"You came up the damn mountain. You're here. Make do."

Toneless.

"You're not the only one with a fucked-up life."

[blue_ajah]

"Neither of you are, as it happens."

Moiraine's tone is very slightly sharp, now.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"No," Joe says. "I reckon that's true."

He stands, his knees popping like dry sticks. "You're jealous of him. Because he's got something--someone--you don't want anymore and chose the Tower over in life anyway. That's how you feel? I don't give a damn; you can make yourself as miserable as you want. But putting the blame on him because he wanted his best friend to be happy for him or because he fucked up a ritual is worse than I would've expected out of you."

He looks out over the mountain. "Gonna be a long damn walk back to Africa."

[lastgunslinger]

Roland doesn't say a word.

He only holds out his arm. A hawk dives out of the sky and comes to light on his outstretched fist, eyes bright and intolerant.

"The hawk is God's gunslinger. Cort said that to me once. A few years before David near ripped his face off in trial, that was. But you'd know that, having been in my head. Finding out about trade routes...and what Vannay used to call me. And maybe even that fucking up that ritual is something that Cuthbert Allgood should have known would ruin it. We're both bound to upholding the tradition. It's who we are. What we do. What held us together then and strengthens the bonds of ka-tet now."

He touches the feathers on David's head lightly, stroking the hawk. They were friends, once. Are friends.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

"Read it, too. Said you thought it was mebbe the only purely stupid thing Cort ever said. Changed your mind, have you?" Joe replies dryly.

It's a nice bird, if you like birds.