(no subject)

[lastgunslinger]

The door to Room 99 opens.

Roland goes to the Really Big TV that's against the wall, CDs in hand, and kneels.

"Sit wherever."

His tobacco pouch, with papers and leaf, is on the table between the two chairs by the window, if Cuthbert wants to avail himself.

Comments

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

"Aye."

No question of what lady Roland means, and there's a beginning of a smile, at first--but it's confused and uncertain and it fades quickly, because while Bert's memories of her are all good ones, it seems the same can't be said for Roland.

[lastgunslinger]

Roland waits.

Then, when he doesn't say anything more: "You never suspected, then?"

Maybe he did a better job of hiding it than he thought.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

Cuthbert's brow furrows again, this time in puzzlement.

"I've not seen her in some time, and wondered at it, but...is something amiss?"

[lastgunslinger]

Roland is quiet for a long moment.

"You never knew."

And now he lifts his head, and lets his hands fall.

"I've learned to hide things since Mejis, it would seem."

He doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want it to be true any more.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

A small part of Cuthbert is noting that there's something wrong with his best friend that he's either been oblivious to, or had kept from him, or both, for an uncertain period of time.

Most of him doesn't care about that. Not while Roland looks like this.

"Ro'...whatever it is, I'd hear it now, if you'd speak."

[lastgunslinger]

He'll make himself say it.

"I love her."

As he loved another, once upon a time.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

For just a moment, Bert's confused.

Of course you do, he almost says.

But...there are different kinds of love.

And...

"Oh, Roland..."

He reaches out again, touching Roland's arm almost hesitantly.

[lastgunslinger]

Roland doesn't move.

"She came in the night you and I spoke out by the lake. She didn't know I'd asked the Dream-lord to tell her that I didn't want to see her until the end."

And Dylan singing: But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody...

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

Cuthbert looks down and closes his eyes again for a moment, his grip on Roland's arm tightening.

He doesn't say anything. What could he say, to this?

[lastgunslinger]

Time passes, and he sings on.

Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain

"I'm an old fool."

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

There's a moment of stillness--and then Cuthbert's shoulders shake briefly.

"Well. That's the best kind, isn't it?"

Then, he props one elbow on the arm of his chair, and drops his face into his hand.

Hastily, "Sorry. Sorry. One of these days I'm going to be in a situation where laughter's inappropriate and actually manage to contain myself, promise."

[lastgunslinger]

Roland's quiet.

Dylan: Standing on the gallows with my head in a noose
Any minute now I'm expecting all hell to break loose

"Better an old one than a young one. Young ones don't know what they are."

Lot of water under the bridge, lot of other stuff too
Don't get up gentlemen, I'm only passing through

"It'll be a cold day in hell, Bert."

A hint of amusement.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

Cuthbert can only nod.

He knows what he is well enough. So long as there's amusement in Roland's voice, it's alright.

He straightens up, the laughing fit gone.

"Say sorry, Ro'."

Not apologizing for the laughter, now.

[lastgunslinger]

A rough shrug.

"It was worse after I'd kissed her." Pause. "I was younger then."

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

"You--?"

Cuthbert blinks.

"When you were younger, here?"

[lastgunslinger]

Roland nods.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

Roland kissed Death.

And for all that Cuthbert personally knows the wife of Dream and the daughter of Desire, the idea of that...

"You kissed one of the Seven."

It sounds as though he's still trying to fully wrap his head around the idea.

[lastgunslinger]

Roland lowers his eyes.

"Yar."

And it was the best thing.

But he doesn't need to say that.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

There's another brief laugh, and Cuthbert runs a hand through his hair.

"'God and the Man Jesus' doesn't quite seem to cover that, somehow."

He lets his hand fall, and glances back over at Roland. "Are you--is there anything I can do?"

[lastgunslinger]

Roland actually looks slightly wry. "What do you think?"

The music has stopped by this point.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

There's a crooked smile with no real humor in it.

"Yeah, didn't think so."

[lastgunslinger]

Roland gives the CD case on the floor a baleful look.

"So."

Pause.

"What do you think?"

He's talking about the music. Really.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

Cuthbert props his chin in one hand, looking ahead at nothing in particular.

"Not sure what to think."

And that's true of both the music, and what Roland's told him about Death. Roland can interpet it either way, if he wants.

[lastgunslinger]

"Maybe the Beatles will be better."

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

Cuthbert glances at Roland again, one eyebrow raised.

"Beetles? That's...the name of a group of musicians?"

Bert's hardly going to resist a subject change, if that's what Roland wants.

[lastgunslinger]

"Apparently." Pause. "The ones who recorded 'Hey Jude'."

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

"Hunh."

If Cuthbert say the name written out, he would no doubt appreciate the cleverness. As it is--

"Weird name."

[lastgunslinger]

"They're from Eddie's world. Think it's clever, I wot." A half-shrug.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

"Well." Bert tilts his head toward the TV. "Let's hear them?"

[lastgunslinger]

Roland slides from his seat and kneels by the DVD player.

His hands only shake a little as he puts the Dylan disc back in its case.